| Eh. |
[05 Aug 2004|08:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crappy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Love is a battlefield" -Pat Benatar |
] |
Fill it out if you want. I don't care if you don't...
1. Your name:
2. What You Think About Me:
3. Am I one of your friends?:
4. Am I nice to you?:
5. HONESTLY do you think I'm Hot, Pretty, Cute, OK, Ugly, Disgusting?:
6. Do you ever think about me off line?:
7. What do you like best about me?:
8. What annoys you most about me?:
9. Two words to describe me:
10. Do you notice a strange habit I have?:
11. What is the nicest thing I have done for you?:
12. When you hear my name what do you think of?:
13. What is my best feature?:
14. What person do you picture me with?:
Opposite Sex
15. Would you ever go out with me?
16. Would you ever kiss me?
17. Would you ever take a trip to a deserted island with me?
Put an 'X' or a remark for Each one that Refers to Me
20. Outgoing -
21. Shy -
22. Caring -
23. Nice -
24. Sweet -
25. Mean -
26. Weird -
27. Crazy -
28. Smart -
29. Stupid -
30. Dark -
31. Bright -
33. Freaky -
32. Funny -
A Couple More
34. How well do you know me?:
35. When is my birthday?:
36. My middle name:
37. Who do I like?:
38. What grade am I in?:
39. My age:
40. Any siblings:
41. What color are my eyes?:
42. What color is my hair?:
43. What school do I go to?:
44. What is my favorite color?:
45. Say something you really mean about me:
|
|
| Cheesy Song I wrote... |
[05 Aug 2004|07:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crappy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Sunday Drive" -The Early November |
] |
Here's a really cheesy song I wrote, thought I'd share and see what you think! Some of you will know who PART of the song is about I bet. HA.. *shakes head and walks away...*
(It doesn't have a chorus because it's long enough as it is)
It's a summer night
But its not like the rest
I stare at the phone, awaiting your call
Chin in the palm of my hand
Feeling so dull, so gone away
I know the phone will never ring
And I can't deny
It's over
There never used to be a you and me
My broken heart forgets
The way things used to be
Never called, always forgotten
Thrown away like another ignorant girl
You speak and its like nails on a chalkboard
I'm sick of the lies and the complaints
Just leave me alone.
I'm hidden in the sunset
Of your regrets
Tearing away, tearing away at your soul
Inside it hurts you, I know
But you wouldn't dare to let it show
You kick yourself, you wont get another chance
Look me in the eyes now, this will be your last glance
Look into me, what do you see now
I know you see the girl you never meant to throw away
But you did, and now its over with
And It hurts me to hear that you don't care
It hurts me to feel something that just isn't there
I don't understand why
Why I hold onto you
Everything you left me with
Are lies, every word untrue
Now I'm falling away, away
Away is you
Second chances replayed
Now you're stupid lines turn me away
You want me back but I know better now
I wont let you hurt me more tonight
Then you do everyday...
-Me
|
|
| Quick Update... |
[05 Aug 2004|12:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Tennis Court Soundtrack" - Daphne Loves Derby |
] |
I'm gettin' ready to go but I figure I'll update first.
Yesterday I went to the mall with Alina and Laura and overall I had a lot of fun. Laura's sister came to pick me and Alina up at her house and dropped us off, we went shopping around everywhere! We saw all these guys from school (ugh) so we tried to avoid them by going into Spencers. It worked and they didn't see us thank goodness. This kid Tristan was there and he's not exactly fond of me. Anyway, we went to Victorias Secret for Laura because she got to buy free panties (All day Laura seemed to be obsessed with buying bras and panties! LOL) Then we just randomly went places. I got a "The Early November" t-shirt, and 2 other random T-shirts, a hoodie, and I got this stuff from Bath and Body works (recommended by the one and only Kirbs!! hehe)Then we went and looked at dresses and Alina picked out the CUTEST homecoming dress for 13-freakin' DOLLARS!!! It looks so good on her. Anyway, Alina just got her so we are going to go watch "13 Going On 30" I'll be on AIM to chat later! BYE
|
|
| Today |
[03 Aug 2004|06:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Just Anyone" - 1208 |
] |
I didn't do much today. Just relaxed, which was nice. I sat out and tried to get some color, went swimming, went on a Slurpee run, and then sat out again. I want to go on a bike ride with Alina tonight but I don't know if she can.
|
|
| Fun! |
[03 Aug 2004|05:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Decorate Your Pavement" -Paint By Numbers |
] |
| NOTE: z | | No smoking around renaissance_x. Thankyou for your co-operation. |
From Go-Quiz.com
Yeah, you mofos don't smoke around me! You'll give me cancer!!
|
|
| Nothingness Update. |
[02 Aug 2004|02:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 exhausted |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"The Longest Story" -Daphne Loves Derby |
] |
Didn't get to bed until 6:00..this morning. It was just starting to get light out and I was laying on my bed thinking "WHAT THE HELL!?" I wasn't even TIRED. It was SO weird. I woke up this morning, exhausted, at around 10:30, so about 4 and a half hours of sleep. NOT cool! :(
I'm just waiting for Alina to get home so we can hang out. Laura is supposed to be coming over at 7 and leaving at 10:30...when I leave I probably wont be back until then, unless something comes up.
Brit, if you reading this call my cell!! I need to talk to you about something and see if you still want to do it. (3 Words...The Scenic Route) Okay..well...I have a few ideas so just call :) <33
|
|
| R a n d o m W r i t i n g I l i k e t o d o s o m e t i m e s |
[02 Aug 2004|04:13am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 weird |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Hopeless Love" - Daphne Loves Derby |
] |
Today was good.
If only it would
l a s t . . . . .
...Flooded... T h o u g h t s
~~~~~~~~~~~~~Falling Away~~
&@&@&@&@ GoInG BaCk @&@&@&@&@&@&
_-_-____tryingtohide_____-_-_
Pale white secrets written on my arm...
Poetry carved into my skull...
Clouds carry me away...
Reality escapes, no solid grip on the world...
Hidden temple-Carries thoughts-Destined Dreams-Foresaken Hopes-Words can kill-Poetically Diverse-Happening Quickley-Falling Through . . . I d i s a p p e a r . . .
It
b
r
o
k
e
my heart.
Learning.
Attention.
Craving.
Acts.
s i l e n c e.
Decorative Pain = No Ending
Only a begining.
A Path.. Of Learning
<-my heart is shattered by your words leaving only crimson tears falling from my eyes...staining my t-shirt, imprinting pain->
*-*LoStInAWoRLDoFmYOwN*-*
Running away looking to the sides and life is a blur. Secrets passed, gone unnoticed. They just don't matter anymore....
...Overdosing On My Thoughts Of You....
x...Your ignorance is tolerated, but mine is my defeat...x
You kill me with words so thin
They are blades cutting through my skin...
...do you enjoy living off my pain?
ScAreD oF BeInG AnaLyZed~
Sometimes I hate you.
You don't even know.
Odd feelings approach me
In a deserted state, fully unaware
It hurts when you ¿¿question¿¿ my faith in you.
Sometimes I wonder if I cause more pain then I'm worth. I question myself.
Your eyes saw into my soul, and you saw that with you I was complete... Then you let go. while I was still grasping the thin line of our friendship with tear-soaked hands and still I slowly slip away, but I'm still holding on.
I'm jealous of the pillow that catches your tears at night, because I used to be the one who could stop those tears from falling.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Holy Cow! I know you guys didn't understand this, but it was my way of like saying stuff. All these little...things are written by me and I haven't done this in a WHILE. Ha. Okay. I'm weird. Don't mind this entry. Sometimes I'm glad I dont make sense!
Me = Feeling Weird 2Night
Please Forgive.
|
|
| AW! |
[01 Aug 2004|11:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
touched |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Love Makes The World Go Round" -Ashlee Simpson |
] |
J3NN1F3R: omg ur so sweet evryone needs a friend like u in there lifes O:-)
I would just like to say, hearing that made me extremely happy!! :) Jenn, your a complete sweetie! I *heart* you!
|
|
| Shopping and Ping Pong Madness |
[01 Aug 2004|05:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
hopeful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Shadow" -Ashlee Simpson |
] |
Well, today was pretty good. I was actually doing stuff today. Alina's supposed to be home today I just don't know when! I hope I get to talk to her tonight because we are supposed to hang out tomorrow with Laura. (Alina doesn't exactly know about this, but she will. ha) Anyway, so I woke up early hung around the house on the computer etc. Made lunch and then my mom came home and asked me if I wanted to go to Meijers since they have stuff on sale. So, of course, I said yes and jumped in the shower. I got 2 Shirts, a belt, and the CUTEST pair of shoes (for only 20 dollars, mind you!) Ha, bargain shopping is excellent! Then I got home and my dad started setting up the Ping Pong table we just got. I had to help and it about broke both of my arms. It's so freakin heavy. OUCH. It was worth it once it was put together and spent the last 2 hours playing (and winning) ;) Tee hee.
Well, I thought I'd update you about what happened today. I got to go eat dinner in about a half an hour and then I'm going to see if Ali's home yet. Then, OF COURSE, I will be playing Ping Pong again because that game is wicked. (Yes, I just said wicked)
So, I guess I'm going to go now and talk to people online.
PS- Kirby = Greatness ;) haha <3
ME = GOOD MOOD TODAY :0)
*goes tra la la-ing away*
( Click To Read These Cool Band Survey Things I Did )
|
|
| Sometimes friendships slip away, but you'll always have the memories... |
[31 Jul 2004|10:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 Shakey |
] |
I made this collage of me, Sarah, Shannon, and Amy. We all used to be BEST friends. We did everything together girlscouts, sleepovers, birthday party's YOU name it! Then one day Elementary School was over...and we went out serperate ways. It makes me sad to think about, but I'm glad I got to experience such a bond and a friendship. Me and Amy are still sort of close and the rest of us talk on occasion, but it's so different now. Some things you can't change.
( Click Here For Collage I Made )
|
|
| I Wish I Knew |
[31 Jul 2004|06:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
disappointed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Learning to Breath" by Switchfoot |
] |
It sucks when you think someone truely cares about you and then you find out they don't. I feel betrayed and upset, but I guess I should've known. It always seems like I care more about a person then they care about me. I can't just stop caring though. I'm so confused about where I stand in everyones life. I don't know how people see me, or what they REALLY think of me. Anyone can lie, I just wish I really knew that way I would never have to be hurt like this. :\
|
|
| Hmm yep. |
[31 Jul 2004|06:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
weird |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Lizze McGuire LOL |
] |
Yea, so I changed the layout again. I wanted something simple for a while. I don't know why... heh...
|
|
| WHOA |
[31 Jul 2004|04:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Nadda |
] |
I'm amused. I just spent, like an hour, looking back at old journals and I used to be so descriptive in what I wrote. What happened to that, I don't know. I found journal entries written about my grandpa when I FIRST found out he was dying. I was a mess, and to this DAY I am a mess. Constantly worrying about him...
Below is the entry I wrote when I first found out about my grandpa's cancer:
im gonna lose it... [18 Jun 2003|04:44pm]
I was right. I couldn't handle why they were crying... and I don't know what the hell I'm going to do. My mom knocked on my door crying she asked me if I wanted to know...I said yes...(im an idiot) she told me my grandpa has cancer. The doctors can shrink it to ease the pain but he's going to die. I can't cry anymore I'm drained...I'm in complete shock. This has been the worst day of my life. My grandpa, the one I love so much is dying. I can't lose him. None of you understand how much this is killing me. I am SO close to him...just like I was with my grandma...who died 5 years ago and I'm still not over it. What do I do now? I wait...I wait for the fucking death of my grandpa, my last living grandparent...the one guy who has been like my second dad...the one person who has loved me unconditionaly for all of my life. His house is my second home...and now I'm losing him. My heart is officially broken... I lost my fucking grandma to cancer and now my grandpa! GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING CANCER! I can't let him die...not yet...he still has time...but all hope is fucking gone! THEY GAVE US NO FUCKING HOPE!
...Ouch. There was some serious pain there...and it still hurts. Everyday it hurts more and more. I don't handle death...I can't. It seriously messes up my head.
Anyway...
I also found entries about Melissa. THOSE were interesting. Our friendship seemed to go UP and DOWN so quickley it made me confused reading about it. One day, she's the best person ever and the next day she's an immature bitch? Well, I'm glad me and her worked things out so we're okay now...but MAN we had issues.
I'm so confused. I don't even know which way is up anymore. There was a point in my life I was SO damn sure of myself. Where the hell did that go? I used to be able to express how I was feeling and why I was upset but now...I don't know how. I don't know why I'm feeling what I'm feeling and I can't explain it. Things in my life seem to be getting pretty hard...
Click Below to Read a Survey I did..
( SURVEEEEEY )
|
|
| wooh |
[31 Jul 2004|01:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
exhausted |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Nadda |
] |
 Cor blimey, I taste like Tea.
I am a subtle flavour, quiet and polite, gentle, almost ambient. My presence in crowds will often go unnoticed. Best not to spill me on your clothes though, I can leave a nasty stain. What Flavour Are You?
|
|
|
| :) :) |
[31 Jul 2004|02:53am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Breaking Benjamin- Cold |
] |
Welp, I changed my layout again. I took that photo myself, and made the icon and background on my own. Comment and tell me if you like it?
<333
|
|
| __hm |
[29 Jul 2004|09:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
scared |
] |
I took everyone off my friends list, if you want your journal added back on comment. If not, then you're staying off.
Not making this friends only
|
|
| ___oh. darling. i. feel. like. letting. go... |
[29 Jul 2004|03:59am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
disappointed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
silence |
] |
myblackrose: you matter so much to me...if i didn't have you, i probly would not be here today to tell you all of this..
I seriously did not know that I effected one person like that...wow.
*sigh*
August is rolling around. Bad month for me. It's the month my grandma passed away. As soon as I figured out my grandpa was sick I has this odd feeling he would pass the same day/night. I know how bad that sounds..predicting my own grandfathers death...but it's true. So now I'm scared. It's probably not true...it was just a feeling. I feel bad for saying it though. Gosh, im stupid.
_ i disappoint myself _
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
renaissance_x's journal
You aren't satisfied with just one flavor. They say variety is the spice of life and this shines through in your Ice cream of choice! Just don't eat all the chocolate and leave the strawberry and vanilla behind!